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Thanksgiving Hate Mail

By : November 29, 2020 01 Comment
On Thanksgiving morning, I woke up feeling relaxed, refreshed and determined to knock out some work before celebrating one of my favorite ( albeit subdued because of the pandemic) holidays. That was short-lived when I checked my emails around 8 AM. "You should've killed yourself back in 05." It was a simple pointed message from someone named Alvaro C in response to an ad placed on Craigslist in DC to recruit new writers. My initial reaction was, "Well, this person has nothing else better to do with their lives," and laughed it off. Over the next hour or so, I thought of at least 50 different responses that I could've sent to this message, from passive-aggressive phrases to expletive-laden rants. In the end, I had to remind myself of one
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Hello World

By : November 26, 2020 Comments Off
Hello to everyone out there in this massive, amazing, crazy, and concerningly overcomplicated world.  I am a transgender woman. That's fun to say. I'm a trans woman! I am a woman. This is new to me. Rather, being willing to say that I am, is. I've known something about myself was feminine since I was eleven or twelve, I think. Something about me was hidden, existing in the shadows of my personality, while the rest of me was sort of muddled throughout my life. I was disconnected. Life happened to other people while this guy I was supposed to be just worked, ate, and existed.  I'm breaking down that barrier of shadows and self doubt and putting the pieces of myself back together, and the real me is so happy
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Three things I wish the LGBTQIA+ community would address for people like me

By : November 16, 2020 Comments Off
At 36 years old, I have been coming more into my identity as a whole within all the many intersectionalities that make up the fantastic tapestry of who I am. Discovering and leaning into my identity as a biracial black queer transman with multiple disabilities has been a journey with ups, downs, twists, and turns. It has been especially challenging having the intersections of my identity separated and viewed differently across my community groups. That’s why I reflected on what my experience as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community has been like, and areas I wish were different, expanded, and more supportive. Here’s three things I came up with that wish the LGBTQIA+ community would address for people like me: I wish the LGBTQIA+ community would see me not just
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Amorphous

By : November 14, 2020 Comments Off
Despite having not spoken to her in months, my mother had found out about my engagement. I remember not even being surprised. My family  collectively has a big mouth, which first became evident when my mother outed me to every person who would listen to her once I came out as bisexual my freshman year of high school -  and every iteration of my coming-out since - and later was solidified when my entire extended family found out about my suicide attempt before I was even out of the hospital. I hadn’t spoken to my mother in several years at that point. I wonder if she knows about the attempt. But when she came to my graduation, she congratulated me on my engagement, even though that was the first time
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Dealing With the Anxiety-Inducing Experience That Is College

By : October 4, 2020 Comments Off
Before I moved into college, I had a completely different piece in mind (even just saying the word “piece” makes me feel professional but, I am very much not so). I wanted to write about LGBT+ representation in animation, which I still want to do, but I am feeling quiet sidetracked at the moment. So yeah, almost three weeks ago I moved into college. College, especially during this time of living in a pandemic, is a strange place. As a freshman, there’s this great task put on your shoulders of having to find how you fit into the vast community. On top of that, you have to figure out where to go all the time (which I am terrible at). Once move-in starts, there’s pretty much this scramble to meet
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Staying Sober During Shelter-in-Place

By : September 9, 2020 Comments Off
In March of 2015, I quit drinking. This came after a (literal) dry run of staying sober for all of the year prior, thinking I had finally gotten my drinking under control, and realizing that I did not. It took me three months to realize that if I kept drinking the way that I was - predominantly bingeing on shots and wine - I would not make it to 25. My mental health was all over the place, and I noticed that my prescribed antidepressants weren’t working the way they should. This, I realized later, was because I was rapid cycling, a term used to describe when someone experiences four or more episodes of hypomania, mania, or depression in a 12-month period. I was once again self-medicating with alcohol for
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