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Three things I wish the LGBTQIA+ community would address for people like me

By : November 16, 2020 Comments Off
At 36 years old, I have been coming more into my identity as a whole within all the many intersectionalities that make up the fantastic tapestry of who I am. Discovering and leaning into my identity as a biracial black queer transman with multiple disabilities has been a journey with ups, downs, twists, and turns. It has been especially challenging having the intersections of my identity separated and viewed differently across my community groups. That’s why I reflected on what my experience as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community has been like, and areas I wish were different, expanded, and more supportive. Here’s three things I came up with that wish the LGBTQIA+ community would address for people like me: I wish the LGBTQIA+ community would see me not just
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Amorphous

By : November 14, 2020 Comments Off
Despite having not spoken to her in months, my mother had found out about my engagement. I remember not even being surprised. My family  collectively has a big mouth, which first became evident when my mother outed me to every person who would listen to her once I came out as bisexual my freshman year of high school -  and every iteration of my coming-out since - and later was solidified when my entire extended family found out about my suicide attempt before I was even out of the hospital. I hadn’t spoken to my mother in several years at that point. I wonder if she knows about the attempt. But when she came to my graduation, she congratulated me on my engagement, even though that was the first time
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Dealing With the Anxiety-Inducing Experience That Is College

By : October 4, 2020 Comments Off
Before I moved into college, I had a completely different piece in mind (even just saying the word “piece” makes me feel professional but, I am very much not so). I wanted to write about LGBT+ representation in animation, which I still want to do, but I am feeling quiet sidetracked at the moment. So yeah, almost three weeks ago I moved into college. College, especially during this time of living in a pandemic, is a strange place. As a freshman, there’s this great task put on your shoulders of having to find how you fit into the vast community. On top of that, you have to figure out where to go all the time (which I am terrible at). Once move-in starts, there’s pretty much this scramble to meet
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Staying Sober During Shelter-in-Place

By : September 9, 2020 Comments Off
In March of 2015, I quit drinking. This came after a (literal) dry run of staying sober for all of the year prior, thinking I had finally gotten my drinking under control, and realizing that I did not. It took me three months to realize that if I kept drinking the way that I was - predominantly bingeing on shots and wine - I would not make it to 25. My mental health was all over the place, and I noticed that my prescribed antidepressants weren’t working the way they should. This, I realized later, was because I was rapid cycling, a term used to describe when someone experiences four or more episodes of hypomania, mania, or depression in a 12-month period. I was once again self-medicating with alcohol for
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LGBTQ Youth and Mental Health

By : September 3, 2020 Comments Off
A lot of LGBTQ people experience uncomfortability at the doctor's office or hospital. I know for myself it was difficult to have conversations with medical professionals. The questions they asked me as a teen often assumed heterosexuality. They asked if I was sexually active, and if I respond yes then the immediate follow-up information given was about pregnancy or condom use (in reference to the male anatomy), which frankly was not an issue for my sixteen-year-old queer self. This developed into a hesitation to see medical professionals and though I am over that now because I met doctors who are extremely educated on LGBTQ topics, it can be detrimental to people if they do not feel welcome in a medical space. The LGBTQ community are highly susceptible to mental health
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Accessing Mental Health Care

By : August 2, 2020 Comments Off
Why does accessing mental health care still have to be a struggle for someone like me? The other night I found myself jarred out of my sleep at 2 a.m. again crying and terrified from the nightmares. I quietly got in the shower and tried to wash everything away trying to ground myself in the present, an automatic routine I’ve done for the past 20 years even before I knew what the words trauma and PTSD meant. As I got back in bed, I was angry and concerned that I haven’t had much luck locating adequate mental health treatment resources. As a biracial black transgender man with multiple disabilities, including high functioning autism, chronic illness, complex PTSD, and depression, it’s far from easy. I’ve been searching for months, especially as
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