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In a Time

By : March 1, 2021 Comments Off
The rain falls delicately as the sun rises The sweet smell of jasmine fills the air   He sleeps atop a mountain of maroon pillows I lay beside him on a Persian rug and trace his lips with my finger The thick plush leaves of the bird of paradise hang lovingly over our heads                          I tousle his hair and watch the thrashing willows His untuned guitar leans carelessly on a wooden chair It will fall soon The rain falls like diamonds as the lilies dance divine    Honey filled mason jar rest atop the small wooden table beside a bamboo She sleeps in a small hammock that is affixed to peach trees I lie beside her and take her hand. She arches her fingers and slips them between mine  Her lavender-scented hair
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Mood Rings

By : February 7, 2021 Comments Off
I said I was going to write more about how her eyes are like mood ringsEyes like mood rings and I’m the only one who can decode themBlue when she’s calm, happy, contentGreen when she’s calm, happy, contentShit, that’s not rightI’d have to ask…but still,Sometimes they’re hazelOther times blue like the raffle ticket scrunched up in my pocket from the county fairLooking to see what NFL players kneelI wonder if the networks are going to stop panning on the players if they kneelCensorshipYou see, when you live in a predominately military area and you’re watching a game on TV at a bar, at the end of the national anthem, some people clap…Uh, you’re not at the game, nor did you stand up so SIR, PLEASE SIT THE FUCK DOWN.Anyway, her
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9 Minute Poem

By : February 7, 2021 Comments Off
When you have a panic attack they say to try a grounding technique Name 5 things you can see Name 4 things you can touch Name 3 things you can hear Name 2 things you can smell Name 1 thing you can taste Breathe in  Hold it Hold it  Hold it Let it out Let me smash this bottle against a wall the wall you pushed me into the night you tore off my underwear as if you were running from the cops I can’t believe I got into a fight with her about you When I invited you in I wasn’t inviting you in. Listen to music, drink a beer,  lose to me in pong… This night was supposed to be like every other night. Was it my boxer
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Liberated Love

By : January 7, 2021 Comments Off
I used to get sick to my stomach whenever I heard her name or saw the back of someone’s head with curly black hair that the sun made brown. When I was younger, I had longed for a relationship. Me and another person, totally immersed in one another. I never thought about the wheel of fortune and the downfall of love. The loss of the honeymoon phase is bitter and sudden like the winter air on my face after leaving my mom’s house.  I knew it was over before she said it. Before she was intimate with another girl on our bed. Before she had the cops send me to the psych ward, a $3,500 bill just for the ambulance ride. Before she drove away in her compact car barely
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Questioning Happiness

By : December 21, 2020 Comments Off
What does it mean to come out if you’re not sure who you are? I spent two years chasing after a boy who didn’t like me back when I was in middle school, all the way into my freshman year of high school. In my sophomore and junior year, I “fell in love” with another boy. During my senior year and in college, I experimented. In my head I kept thinking, I don’t like girls, I’m just a hormone-harboring teenager, what’s new?  I ended my freshman year of college with a girlfriend. A serious one, too. I mean, we fell in love, hard. Facetime calls never-ending, I was totally immersed in her. I thought she was immersed in me, but that’s a whole other story. Both of us were convinced
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Amorphous

By : November 14, 2020 Comments Off
Despite having not spoken to her in months, my mother had found out about my engagement. I remember not even being surprised. My family  collectively has a big mouth, which first became evident when my mother outed me to every person who would listen to her once I came out as bisexual my freshman year of high school -  and every iteration of my coming-out since - and later was solidified when my entire extended family found out about my suicide attempt before I was even out of the hospital. I hadn’t spoken to my mother in several years at that point. I wonder if she knows about the attempt. But when she came to my graduation, she congratulated me on my engagement, even though that was the first time
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