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Validation

By : January 18, 2021 No Comment
I feel like a common problem for our community is that many people invalidate our sexuality. When coming out to someone, it’s a natural response for them to ask me if I’ve ever dated a woman.  “Have you ever dated a girl?” is an annoying reaction when I tell someone I’m pansexual because that’s not what pansexuality is. Although I understand many people don’t understand what pansexuality is, I’m also confused as to why they don’t just ask, rather than jumping to the conclusion that I also date women aside from men.  After I have put some thought into this, it made me notice how many people want to hear someone’s dating history in order to validate that their sexuality. It’s completely unnecessary and invasive to be forced to tell
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Questioning Happiness

By : December 21, 2020 Comments Off
What does it mean to come out if you’re not sure who you are? I spent two years chasing after a boy who didn’t like me back when I was in middle school, all the way into my freshman year of high school. In my sophomore and junior year, I “fell in love” with another boy. During my senior year and in college, I experimented. In my head I kept thinking, I don’t like girls, I’m just a hormone-harboring teenager, what’s new?  I ended my freshman year of college with a girlfriend. A serious one, too. I mean, we fell in love, hard. Facetime calls never-ending, I was totally immersed in her. I thought she was immersed in me, but that’s a whole other story. Both of us were convinced
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Riding the Rails on Christmas: Helping Homeless LGBTQIA Youth

By : December 18, 2020 01 Comment
In the dead of winter in Chicago, an African-American male teen sits asleep on an L Train during an early morning rush hour commute. His clothes -  a white t-shirt which he folds his arms inside to shield them from the cold, and blue jeans - are stained with dirt. The tongues of his white laceless, well-worn gym shoes stand stiff. The muddy laces limp on the cold train’s wet rubber flooring. His dreadlocked hair is filled with lint and other debris. His face is bruised, tired, and sunk in. His skin is dry, muddied, and peeling. He is Homeless. He sits alone in the far back corner. The morning commuters board, frown at the mere sight of him, walk in the opposite direction, and sit. It is prudent to
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Nobody Puts an Age Limit on Coming Out – Chapter One

By : December 9, 2020 01 Comment
When I first decided on writing my coming out story, I didn’t realize how long it would be until I started to actually think about it. Why is it so long, you ask? Well, throughout 30 years of life, I’ve had a lot of ups and downs, as I’m sure everyone else has, too. But my challenges have caused me to have to  delay coming out to my family. I’ve battled with insecurities, self-love, and mental health issues all my life and I am still battling these issues every single day. However, I feel like it’s important to talk about these things because even though you feel alone and as if no one knows what you’re going through. I’ve quickly come to realize that you often feel that way when
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What No One Told Me About Coming Out

By : December 3, 2020 Comments Off
My dad used to always tell me, “Everyone is the first person to discover fire, at least in their own world.”  For most of my life, I largely brushed it off as one of those things your parents say to you—you know, the little pseudo-epigrams they make up to sound wiser and maybe even a little world-wearier. Parental ethos, or something.  I realized, though, once I was in my 20s, that this was more than one of those nonsense jeu d’esprits. Granted, I never asked what my father intended by it, but I don’t think my own working analysis of that statement is what he meant at all. Regardless of what his intention was, I know what it means to me. I know that the first time my friends called
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The Difficulties of Coming Out

By : November 26, 2020 Comments Off
In a perfect world, we can stand before our friends and loved ones, show them our authentic selves, and they will still love and depend on us. However, the real world is imperfect, so when I came out as bisexual to my loved ones a few years ago, some were accepting while others recoiled with disgust and turned away. For me, losing the people closest to me was undoubtedly the most difficult part about coming out because nothing could have prepared me for it. My mother and best friend of ten years were both disgusted. My mother was angry with me and my best friend essentially told me that I was possessed by a demon. I was devastated and lost. I questioned if coming out was worth losing loved ones
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