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I’m What The Kids Call A ‘Content Creator’

By : March 30, 2021 Comments Off
Last December, I started as an official creator for the app Likee (pronounced like-ee). If you’re unfamiliar with it, I best explain it as the lovechild of Twitch and TikTok. What I mean by “official” here is that I have a signed contract that lets me get paid to be there. Yes, really. Your boy has finally arrived. Kinda.  I have for most of my adult life wanted to have a job that I liked. That it would be fulfilling enough that even if the pay were abysmal, my soul would be satisfied. The truth of every dream job lies therein ― it is but a dream. Intangible and unrealistic. Anything worth having and doing well at takes energy, hard work, and time. Like many others, I thought being a
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Abnegation

By : March 16, 2021 Comments Off
Undetermined date, 20216:13 am “You understand me. We mirror each other. You’re what I see when I look in the mirror and I’m what you see when you don’t.” Undetermined date, 202111:27 pm I wrote something similar several years ago, right when you entered the hospital for the first time. And that was the last time, I think, that I wrote about you. And I didn’t tell you this morning, but you’re not wrong.  I am afraid. Not afraid of how your recovery looks or what you are doing, but afraid that it could be me, that it would be me. Your videos, your photos, your messages, your voicemails, your texts, your audio recordings—are what my brain feels like frequently—and I know that you know that. It scares me because
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9 Minute Poem

By : February 7, 2021 Comments Off
When you have a panic attack they say to try a grounding technique Name 5 things you can see Name 4 things you can touch Name 3 things you can hear Name 2 things you can smell Name 1 thing you can taste Breathe in  Hold it Hold it  Hold it Let it out Let me smash this bottle against a wall the wall you pushed me into the night you tore off my underwear as if you were running from the cops I can’t believe I got into a fight with her about you When I invited you in I wasn’t inviting you in. Listen to music, drink a beer,  lose to me in pong… This night was supposed to be like every other night. Was it my boxer
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Liberated Love

By : January 7, 2021 Comments Off
I used to get sick to my stomach whenever I heard her name or saw the back of someone’s head with curly black hair that the sun made brown. When I was younger, I had longed for a relationship. Me and another person, totally immersed in one another. I never thought about the wheel of fortune and the downfall of love. The loss of the honeymoon phase is bitter and sudden like the winter air on my face after leaving my mom’s house.  I knew it was over before she said it. Before she was intimate with another girl on our bed. Before she had the cops send me to the psych ward, a $3,500 bill just for the ambulance ride. Before she drove away in her compact car barely
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Thanksgiving Hate Mail

By : November 29, 2020 01 Comment
On Thanksgiving morning, I woke up feeling relaxed, refreshed and determined to knock out some work before celebrating one of my favorite ( albeit subdued because of the pandemic) holidays. That was short-lived when I checked my emails around 8 AM. "You should've killed yourself back in 05." It was a simple pointed message from someone named Alvaro C in response to an ad placed on Craigslist in DC to recruit new writers. My initial reaction was, "Well, this person has nothing else better to do with their lives," and laughed it off. Over the next hour or so, I thought of at least 50 different responses that I could've sent to this message, from passive-aggressive phrases to expletive-laden rants. In the end, I had to remind myself of one
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Hello World

By : November 26, 2020 Comments Off
Hello to everyone out there in this massive, amazing, crazy, and concerningly overcomplicated world.  I am a transgender woman. That's fun to say. I'm a trans woman! I am a woman. This is new to me. Rather, being willing to say that I am, is. I've known something about myself was feminine since I was eleven or twelve, I think. Something about me was hidden, existing in the shadows of my personality, while the rest of me was sort of muddled throughout my life. I was disconnected. Life happened to other people while this guy I was supposed to be just worked, ate, and existed.  I'm breaking down that barrier of shadows and self doubt and putting the pieces of myself back together, and the real me is so happy
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