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Dealing With the Anxiety-Inducing Experience That Is College

By : October 4, 2020 Comments Off
Before I moved into college, I had a completely different piece in mind (even just saying the word “piece” makes me feel professional but, I am very much not so). I wanted to write about LGBT+ representation in animation, which I still want to do, but I am feeling quiet sidetracked at the moment. So yeah, almost three weeks ago I moved into college. College, especially during this time of living in a pandemic, is a strange place. As a freshman, there’s this great task put on your shoulders of having to find how you fit into the vast community. On top of that, you have to figure out where to go all the time (which I am terrible at). Once move-in starts, there’s pretty much this scramble to meet
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Staying Sober During Shelter-in-Place

By : September 9, 2020 Comments Off
In March of 2015, I quit drinking. This came after a (literal) dry run of staying sober for all of the year prior, thinking I had finally gotten my drinking under control, and realizing that I did not. It took me three months to realize that if I kept drinking the way that I was - predominantly bingeing on shots and wine - I would not make it to 25. My mental health was all over the place, and I noticed that my prescribed antidepressants weren’t working the way they should. This, I realized later, was because I was rapid cycling, a term used to describe when someone experiences four or more episodes of hypomania, mania, or depression in a 12-month period. I was once again self-medicating with alcohol for
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LGBTQ Youth and Mental Health

By : September 3, 2020 Comments Off
A lot of LGBTQ people experience uncomfortability at the doctor's office or hospital. I know for myself it was difficult to have conversations with medical professionals. The questions they asked me as a teen often assumed heterosexuality. They asked if I was sexually active, and if I respond yes then the immediate follow-up information given was about pregnancy or condom use (in reference to the male anatomy), which frankly was not an issue for my sixteen-year-old queer self. This developed into a hesitation to see medical professionals and though I am over that now because I met doctors who are extremely educated on LGBTQ topics, it can be detrimental to people if they do not feel welcome in a medical space. The LGBTQ community are highly susceptible to mental health
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Accessing Mental Health Care

By : August 2, 2020 Comments Off
Why does accessing mental health care still have to be a struggle for someone like me? The other night I found myself jarred out of my sleep at 2 a.m. again crying and terrified from the nightmares. I quietly got in the shower and tried to wash everything away trying to ground myself in the present, an automatic routine I’ve done for the past 20 years even before I knew what the words trauma and PTSD meant. As I got back in bed, I was angry and concerned that I haven’t had much luck locating adequate mental health treatment resources. As a biracial black transgender man with multiple disabilities, including high functioning autism, chronic illness, complex PTSD, and depression, it’s far from easy. I’ve been searching for months, especially as
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How Moving out Helped me Heal

By : July 19, 2020 Comments Off
Living in a toxic household comes with many things. You feel like you can never trust anyone; like you can love or be loved; like you don’t deserve anything. You feel stuck. You try to find places and things to make you feel safe. For me, it was writing.  I could create any world I wanted where the hero would face the same problems I did but always came through at the end. The main character became my role model. She would go through everything I went through: abusive parents, a toxic household, feeling left out at school, being in the closet and, many other things. Unlike me, my main character would be able to overcome these obstacles. It was something that I longed for but couldn’t do.  I felt
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My Family Was Ready to Communicate, but I Wasn’t

By : July 15, 2020 Comments Off
Regard this statement as fact, rather than with pity: I have always been the outlier in my family. While every child feels like this at some point during adolescence, it seems to be a stronger feeling among those that grew up in the 90s until now. This stronger feeling must be provoking stronger actions if the complaints from parents and older siblings are true: teenagers and children today isolate themselves more than previous generations.  Over the years, the stereotype of an angsty, explosive teenager among an otherwise friendly suburban family has evolved into a teenager that simply doesn’t express themself at all. Said teen’s family is completely out of the loop, unsure if their child is depressed, angry, wondering if they have any interest in the world at all. The
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