a bubble of silence

it feels like my heart is on fire and i’m doing nothing.

a bubble of silence

sometimes being alone makes sense,

i’m alone with my thoughts and my feelings and my discomfort.

nothing really make sense these days, the world is in shambles and i’m lost in my own mind;

but sometimes when i’m alone it makes sense.

it makes sense that i’m tired, well exhausted really.

i understand that there’s a toll on my body and my mind from what i’m feeling inside,

i get that. it’s fine. 

sometimes I just need a moment to breathe and understand that this will pass

because in the moment it doesn’t feel like it, 

in the moment it feels like i’m ripping my insides out of my body, 

it feels like my heart is on fire and i’m doing nothing. 

so when it makes sense, i take it. 

when i’m alone and things make sense i sit with that feeling and i accept that. 

because not everything in this world makes sense and i don’t fully understand who i am, 

and it hurts and it’s exhausting and it’s an everyday battle.

but in order to win the war i need to take my victories where i can. 

so sometimes, when i’m alone and things make sense i smile a little 

and rejoice because things make sense in that moment. what more could i ask for?

in that moment i’m just me, i’m not thinking about my place in the world or whether or not i fit in.

i’m simply existing in a peaceful silence that is so precious and fragile it could break at any second. so i cherish it. 

because the moment it breaks the world comes back,

and that’s what i’m afraid of.

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