Self Discovery Archives

Pronouns: The Power of Words

By : Shelonda Montgomery September 10, 2021 No Comment

While some answer in haste, others have to stop and think about the magnitude of what is being asked. For some it is a simple tag; however, for others, it is an emblem of acceptance and belonging. When I think of the concept of pronouns in society, I recall one incident that stays with me. Some time ago I worked at a school and was asked to assist a group of high school students with a group project. Prior to the session, the teacher pulled me aside, pointed to a female-presenting student, who I will call Alex, and explained that she wanted me to address them by “he or him.” I nodded. Alex was small in stature, had short hair, and was dressed in masculine clothing. The students began their

My Story So Far…

By : Alex July 16, 2021 Comments Off

This is about a series of checkpoints that I have had the pleasure and the great confusion to pass through on my journey so far. Now, I don’t really think of people as their physical bodies so much as the radiation of their spirit, but it took me about 22 years to fully realize that radical perception. The first stop, in a sense, was assuming that I was heterosexual. The first portion of my life I did not think to question the notion that as a femme person with a hole and not a pole - among other complex genotypic attributes which contribute to the phenotypic growth of a body and are then subject to harsh, arbitrary social categorization and ideals - I should find love and/or pleasure with a

To Tell Or Not To Tell

By : Shelonda Montgomery July 16, 2021 Comments Off

“She liked to ignore the fact that I had made love to men and enjoyed it. She liked to ignore it until the very moment she decided to be threatened by it. That seemed to be her pattern. I was a lesbian when she loved me and a straight woman when she hated me.” ― Taylor Jenkins Reid, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo Here, Taylor Jenkins Reid very pointedly encapsulates the excruciating torment that some people feel regarding their partner’s bisexuality. As a result of such reactions and others similar to it, many bisexuals grapple with the question: Should I reveal my bisexuality to a potential partner? For some, the answer is an emphatic “Yes.” However, for others, it is a struggle.. The fear of rejection is a major

What Does It Mean To Be Ace?

By : Miranda Kargol July 16, 2021 Comments Off

If you’re anything like me, finding the definition of asexuality can be difficult. There are so many misunderstandings and jokes, and that can make it so hard to figure out what it actually means. This is because the definition of asexual varies depending on the person. Not the answer you were hoping for, right? Actually, this is the same story as every other orientation and identity. While it may not be the easy answer, it’s the most realistic. After all, there is no “one-size-fits-all” label! If you are looking for a simple and boiled-down answer, here is the general definition: Asexual: a person who does not experience sexual attraction or experiences very little sexual attraction. While this can be helpful, the definition doesn’t cover every aspect of asexuality. Being asexual

Publicly Asexual

By : Miranda Kargol June 12, 2021 Comments Off

Fluidity is a concept that has interested me for years, but I was not very familiar with how it worked. When I first started learning about the LGBTQ+ community, I read about the spectrum of gender and sexuality, which gave me a foundation for my knowledge, but still didn’t answer many of my questions. Over time, my thoughts about queerness have been transformed to the idea that labels don’t have to be fixed and that societal standards can be restrictive. This is also true of living in a publicly authentic way, which reminds me of my experiences as an asexual person. Whenever I meet someone new, a question that I am always asked is if I am dating someone. When I say no, I am met with even more questions,

Coexisting

By : Miranda Kargol May 15, 2021 Comments Off

Throughout my life, I have found it difficult to understand how queer people have found ways to reconcile Christianity with their identity. This is something that I struggled with for years because of my upbringing. Growing up, I attended a very religious and private school in the suburbs, and we were constantly taught about the dangers of the world and the things that we needed to beware of. It was because of these lessons I was taught throughout my life that I did not know that it was possible for me to be anything but straight. Once I gave myself the space to learn about the queer community, the oblivion that I once had become bitterness because I had spent years of my life being unaware. While I still find

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Category: Self Discovery