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Self Discovery Archives - MyUmbrella

Stories

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Back to the Old House

By : November 10, 2021 Comments Off
In May of 2019, I was presented with a very interesting opportunity – to move back into my childhood home as an adult, just me and my boyfriend, no parents around. We were unhappy with our 1-bedroom apartment in Oakland and wanted more space, and a washer and dryer. So the next month, we moved into the house that I grew up in, renting from my parents. As a teenager, I listened to a lot of pop punk, and was influenced to leave my hometown behind and never return. As a teenager, I was also very confused and in denial about my queer identity, trying to play it straight while something raged inside of me. However, I ultimately made the decision to return to my past and try to create
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Transforming Ideas of Queerness

By : October 27, 2021 Comments Off
Society is starting to become more educated on the concept of gender, but there is still a long way to go. People are just beginning to understand that gender is a spectrum, which means that every person is completely unique. As we go through life, we gain new experiences and learn new things about ourselves and the world around us. If we don’t change amidst these changes, we may begin to feel stuck. Within the lens of heteronormativity, this can be seen in how society expects people to look and behave in a certain way. In response, we may choose to reflect those standards in order to fit in or conform to the world around us, regardless of who we actually are. Performing gender and sexuality in this way is
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Much Like Unicorns, Linear Pathways Rarely Exist

By : October 27, 2021 Comments Off
Time consistently has a way of making fools of us all, it seems—me more so than most.  I spent several years carefully combing the Internet, as one does, in hopes of finding the perfect labels that encompass the entirety of me.  I picked away at the surface-level characteristics I noticed about myself and used them as key terms in this search.  “Non-binary and queer,” I thought to myself.  “My journey of self-discovery is over.” And then the pandemic hit. And then quarantine happened. If you ever think you know yourself, think again.   Being trapped with not much more than yourself for company leads you to greater depths of understanding than you ever believed to be possible. You begin redefining everything you ever thought you knew.  Perhaps those days you felt
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Pronouns: The Power of Words

By : September 10, 2021 Comments Off
While some answer in haste, others have to stop and think about the magnitude of what is being asked. For some it is a simple tag; however, for others, it is an emblem of acceptance and belonging. When I think of the concept of pronouns in society, I recall one incident that stays with me. Some time ago I worked at a school and was asked to assist a group of high school students with a group project. Prior to the session, the teacher pulled me aside, pointed to a female-presenting student, who I will call Alex, and explained that she wanted me to address them by “he or him.” I nodded. Alex was small in stature, had short hair, and was dressed in masculine clothing. The students began their
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My Story So Far…

By : July 16, 2021 Comments Off
This is about a series of checkpoints that I have had the pleasure and the great confusion to pass through on my journey so far. Now, I don’t really think of people as their physical bodies so much as the radiation of their spirit, but it took me about 22 years to fully realize that radical perception.  The first stop, in a sense, was assuming that I was heterosexual. The first portion of my life I did not think to question the notion that as a femme person with a hole and not a pole - among other complex genotypic attributes which contribute to the phenotypic growth of a body and are then subject to harsh, arbitrary social categorization and ideals - I should find love and/or pleasure with a
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To Tell Or Not To Tell

By : July 16, 2021 Comments Off
“She liked to ignore the fact that I had made love to men and enjoyed it. She liked to ignore it until the very moment she decided to be threatened by it. That seemed to be her pattern. I was a lesbian when she loved me and a straight woman when she hated me.” ― Taylor Jenkins Reid, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo Here, Taylor Jenkins Reid very pointedly encapsulates the excruciating torment that some people feel regarding their partner’s bisexuality. As a result of such reactions and others similar to it, many bisexuals grapple with the question: Should I reveal my bisexuality to a potential partner? For some, the answer is an emphatic “Yes.”  However, for others, it is a struggle.. The fear of rejection is a major
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