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On The Journey Toward A More Authentic Me

By : August 2, 2020 Comments Off
It’s a different, new kind of day,My life is changing.I am transforming.Both are packed in the same suitcase,Waiting.Struggling.Hoping.What will the future be in all it’s infinite possibilitiesAs we’re about to embark on a journey; A journey toward a more authentic me. The journey is different than I thought it would be.Words like untethering and authenticity kept pushing me to pack.A chance to live the best life you can.A chance for my mind and body to heal.A chance for love and growth.Maybe even a chance to be truly happy.But, wait they said I can only pack five things.I panicked.I pondered.Then I knew exactly what those five things had to be. My Past;It takes up a lot of room in the suitcase.Sometimes the rest of us wonder why it is there,Especially since it
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Accessing Mental Health Care

By : August 2, 2020 Comments Off
Why does accessing mental health care still have to be a struggle for someone like me? The other night I found myself jarred out of my sleep at 2 a.m. again crying and terrified from the nightmares. I quietly got in the shower and tried to wash everything away trying to ground myself in the present, an automatic routine I’ve done for the past 20 years even before I knew what the words trauma and PTSD meant. As I got back in bed, I was angry and concerned that I haven’t had much luck locating adequate mental health treatment resources. As a biracial black transgender man with multiple disabilities, including high functioning autism, chronic illness, complex PTSD, and depression, it’s far from easy. I’ve been searching for months, especially as
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On Being Transgender and Experiencing A Different Kind of Fatherhood

By : June 19, 2020 Comments Off
For the longest time, I struggled with depression and self-injury. I was afraid to talk about gender identity and sexuality as we didn’t talk about it in the communities I grew up in. To make matters worse, the slang words that were used when I was older were full of homophobia, transphobia, and stigma. I didn’t know what to do with my sexual attraction and admiring the masculine form wishing I had those masculine characteristics such as no breasts, a strong jawline, facial hair, and more to match how I felt on the inside instead of the physical female characteristics I was. Self-injury was one of my primary ways of coping with gender dysphoria. Nothing in my life ever felt stable or safe.  Gaining access to LGBTQIA+ resources and going
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