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identity crisis

i’ve talked about translucency but not transparency

permanent identity crisis

choose your own adventure book 

but i can’t pass for white

but i can’t pass for black 

sophie’s choice

i’ve never seen sophie’s choice but i can never decide between macaroni & cheese and a cheeseburger so i think i get the picture

pictures like that bowling ball that rolled into the sewer when you were five 

pictures like snowflakes that never land on your tongue and melt before they hit the ground 

pictures like that girl at the bar you were too scared to talk to

pictures like your blanket slipping off your legs at night and falling to the floor

i’ve talked about translucency 

but not transparency

like cling wrap

windshields

broken glass

the windows of the hospital room

i can see you from the hallway

but not the parking lot

tupperware containers are never as clean after they’ve had spaghetti sauce

so that won’t work

a beer glass? 

a wine glass?

a whiskey glass?

an ice cube?

a recipe for canadian club whiskey on the rocks

i talk about canadian club whiskey on the rocks like i knew him well

i didn’t but i know my mom

transparent like mesh

or fishnet stockings

the zippered part of your garment bag that holds the suits you will decide not to wear after all?

transparent like 

water

window panes (pains) are overdone 

food grade rice paper when it’s wet 

for the spring rolls i won’t eat

a prism

the physical property of allowing light to pass through a material without appreciable scattering of light

your forms don’t allow transparency

they allow you to tell me there’s a “discrepancy in my paperwork”

“we have some questions about your background”

“there are some inconsistencies”

how do you choose?

nobody is asking you to choose between English and Irish

nobody is asking you to choose between German and french

it’s almost as if you expect me to choose one over the other

it’s almost as if you know one choice would benefit me

therefore proving my point.


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