There is something I must get off my chest tonight
and I want you to know first of all that I’m okay and I’m not okay
The next time it happens never feels like it did before
It’s always going to come at some point
But it never feels like the methods I used last time would help right now
Each beast is shaped differently.
I’m not sure how to tell you to help me
I used to listen to the CD “When Broken is Easily Fixed”
Must be nice—
I’m not broken
Is there a word for this?
I’m not an artist
I’m not a writer
I’m not black
I’m not gay
I’m not as smart as I pretend to be
My brain chemistry must be controlled by substances
I can’t control everything all the time
My thoughts get carried away by more thoughts
I get carried away by my thoughts
My ankles swell
I don’t like most vegetables
Sometimes I’d prefer not to be sober
My hair is too curly
I can’t sleep in high altitudes
Shots make me gag
I twitch when I’m really tired
I pick my cuticles until they bleed
I don’t know what this colossal creature is shaped like
Shape shifter
Shift gears
Metal Gear Solid
Metal detector
Solid Liquid Gas
Gas chamber
Chamber of Secrets
Secret passage
Passage of time
Time turner
Tina Turner
Turner Classic Movies
Classic me
Maybe electroconvulsive therapy would help
Slipping on ice
Falling into the frozen lake
Sinking under the frozen water
and the hammer in your fist drags you down
Pulled in an undertow
The waves took your favorite hot pink goggles
You scoured the shore for days
and didn’t go back in the water for a whole week
Intruder in the night
Running and being caught
Starving for air and attention
but everyone knows oxygen feeds flames
Flame thrower
Throes of passion
Passion fruit
Fruit fly
Incessant
Broken Serotonin Machine
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