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Broken Serotonin Machine

I can't sleep in high altitudes Shots make me gag I twitch when I'm really tired I pick my cuticles until they bleed

There is something I must get off my chest tonight
and I want you to know first of all that I’m okay and I’m not okay 


The next time it happens never feels like it did before
It’s always going to come at some point
But it never feels like the methods I used last time would help right now
Each beast is shaped differently.

I’m not sure how to tell you to help me

I used to listen to the CD “When Broken is Easily Fixed”

Must be nice—

I’m not broken

Is there a word for this?

I’m not an artist

I’m not a writer

I’m not black 

I’m not gay

I’m not as smart as I pretend to be 

My brain chemistry must be controlled by substances

I can’t control everything all the time 

My thoughts get carried away by more thoughts 

I get carried away by my thoughts 

My ankles swell 

I don’t like most vegetables 

Sometimes I’d prefer not to be sober 

My hair is too curly 

I can’t sleep in high altitudes 

Shots make me gag 

I twitch when I’m really tired 

I pick my cuticles until they bleed

I don’t know what this colossal creature is shaped like 

Shape shifter 

Shift gears

Metal Gear Solid 

Metal detector

Solid Liquid Gas 

Gas chamber

Chamber of Secrets

Secret passage

Passage of time

Time turner

Tina Turner

Turner Classic Movies

Classic me

Maybe electroconvulsive therapy would help

Slipping on ice

Falling into the frozen lake

Sinking under the frozen water

and the hammer in your fist drags you down

Pulled in an undertow

The waves took your favorite hot pink goggles

You scoured the shore for days

and didn’t go back in the water for a whole week

Intruder in the night

Running and being caught

Starving for air and attention

but everyone knows oxygen feeds flames

Flame thrower

Throes of passion

Passion fruit

Fruit fly

Incessant

Broken Serotonin Machine


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